I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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