Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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