hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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