you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think i have two assholes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Randomize
