I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
