Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
