It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The adults are the big ones right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
