It's like God shit irony all over that family
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Farmville is her only friend.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
