i permit you to call me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
