Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
