this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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