Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
