so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
