Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
