I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
