Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
