my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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