Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
