Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
