I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
