Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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