Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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