i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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