Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
