She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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