I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Let's get the cat blown out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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