The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You're like the curious george of whores
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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