how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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