i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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