I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
