Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
