What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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