do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
