It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
