sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
