OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
