Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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