i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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