Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
