i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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