is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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