he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
