I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
