Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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