Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
