so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
only you would photoshop your dick
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
