she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Bring me that man meat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
