Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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