I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
