these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
