I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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