Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
