So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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