Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
