Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Four minutes until I can fart!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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